Vulnerability. The word for many may bring up a twinge of discomfort. It may raise a shadow of fear in the pit of our stomachs. It’s not safe, we may hear a voice say. The voice may also say that you must project strength, that vulnerability is weakness. These are the old voices that have been passed down to us through generations and ingrained into our collective thinking by the programming of our culture.
Despite the voices of our past, we are designed to live, work, and play with others. We are wired for connection and without vulnerability, true connection to another becomes elusive if not impossible. Vulnerability is in our true nature, it enables a communion of trust with another soul when we allow ourselves to be seen.
In fact, vulnerability is a dance we need to undertake with those with which we want to build intimacy, with those with who we want to have a deep and lasting connection. It is when we share our dreams, our fears, our greatest joys, and our greatest suffering with another that the seed of connection is planted. When we meet those before us with an unfettered heart, a door opens and a blossoming occurs. It is in the back and forth between us, the dance of sharing and listening, of building trust, where a knowing unfolds, sprouting to become the relational space between two people.
When we meet those before us with an unfettered heart, a door opens and a blossoming occurs.
To avoid vulnerability, or to shield ourselves in an attempt to be invulnerable is folly. To do so ignores our true nature. It ignores the essence of who we are. Building walls around our hearts only serves to isolate us, denying us the connection we so desperately crave. It sentences us to solitary confinement, alone with only our thoughts, with only our thinking mind to keep us company. Our mind is a wonderful tool, but when we unplug it from our heart, it quickly turns to fear, and fear never leads us toward connection.
Vulnerability is the foundation upon which compassion and empathy are built. For how can we feel another when we have walled off our own heart? Vulnerability requires self-knowledge, a gift that grows in the act of being vulnerable. It becomes the doorway to a greater connection to ourselves and to others. When we take the risk and walk fully through that door, we become larger and more compassionate, we create a level of intimacy not previously available to us. Being vulnerable is a path we can walk to know our own state of being in a more heart-centered and fulfilling way.
Being vulnerable is a path we can walk to know our own state of being in a more heart-centered and fulfilling way.
Being vulnerable does not mean that you need to hurl your darkest secrets at the feet of the person in front of you. Instead, it is about sharing. Like an intricately wrapped and precious gift, you offer to gently unwrap a part of yourself in front of another, so that they may benefit from the gift of truly knowing who you are. It is a give-and-take. As you reveal a piece of the complicated beauty that is yourself, they in turn allow you to know them in a deeper way. It is a mutual reveal that builds connection, intimacy, and trust.
Sharing vulnerability has the same capacity to build fulfilling connections in any of our relationships: life partners, family, friends, even business relationships. Of course, the level of vulnerability changes and evolves based on the person and the situation, but it is still varying degrees of the same thing: Allowing another to see the authentic version of you.
Be brave and courageous and step into your vulnerability with others. It will take your relationships to a level you never thought possible. You deserve that connection.
Vulnerably yours,
Scott
